I wonder why I think my lady’s poodle (who has a smug and solemn face) reminds me of the wiggles and patterns of a noodle . . . Its eyes are deep and their look serene, its lips are sensitive and smiling.. but oh, overall, I think is without measure, dull and irksome.

It’s not that its locks are curly, my hair is curlier . . . It’s not that it has a lisp, I too have a stammered whisper . . . It’s not the pretty bow it wears as she struts with parti-colored bib on . . . I *like* these various airs… and I’m very fond of rainbow ribbon.

Nor can it be, I’m sure, because my lady pampers all its wishes, and tempts her finicky gourmet with dainty meats in dainty dishes.  To tell the truth, while *I’m* her guest, she pays close attention to *my* little wants and whims, and if “Beau” is a rival, there’s not a drop of jealousy in my blood.

I wonder, and am at a loss why my poor opinion of her darling sets my lady snarling . . . The cause, (if pride isn’t kept in check, she swears I deserve a fist-fight)

The cause is this . . . she calls (so I’m told) the little brute her “living image”!! 

Editor's note:  This fellow needs to understand that every poodle owner aspires to be as joyful and regal as their beloved Poodles!