LAMENT OF A LADY WHO’S
GONE TO THE DOGS
There was a time, there really was,
When I was sweet and tender;
When show dog meant a Disney star
And Bitch was not a gender.
I went to bed at half past ten;
I went to church on Sunday;
On Saturday I baked the beans,
And did the wash on Monday.
But then I got a certain pup,
And an erstwhile friend said, “Show!”
And so I did, and so I do
Oh! What I didn’t know!
I used to dress with flair and style,
That was the life! Don’t knock it!
But now each dress from bed to ball
Must have a good bait pocket.
I used to have a certain air,
I wallowed in perfume,
I used to smell of Nuit d’Amour
Now I smell like Mr. Groom!
My furniture was haut decor.
My pets, a tank of guppies,
Now I’ve furniture unstuffed
And well adjusted puppies!
Once I spoke in pristine prose,
In dulcet tones and frail –
But now I’m using language
That would turn a sailor pale!
I was taught to be well groomed
No matter where I went.
Now all the grooming that I do
Is in the handler’s tent.
I used to long for furs and jewels;
And a figure classed as super.
Now the thing I yearn for most
Is a nice new pooper-scooper!
I adored a man who murmured verse
Through intimate little dinners;
But now the words I thrill to hear
Are just three – “Best of Winners.”
I rise at dawn and pack the car,
The road ahead’s a long one.
The one I routed on the maps
Invariably’s the wrong one.
I really love this doggy life
I wouldn’t care to change it.
But when I get that Best in Show
I plan to rearrange it!!
When my time on earth is done
I’ll go without much nudging –
Just give me a three-week closing date
And let me know who’s judging!
~ By Beryl Allen
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Mom’s Famous Pumpkin Biscotti
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1 cup canned pumpkin puree
(not pie filling)
¼ cup each liquid honey and water
2 tbsp canola oil
1 large egg
1 tsp vanilla
4 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp ground cinnamon
¼ tsp baking powder
¼ tsp baking soda
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Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (180 C)
1. In a large bowl, whisk together pumpkin puree, honey, water, oil, egg, and vanilla. Stir in flour, cinnamon, baking powder, and baking soda until well incorporated.
2. In the bowl and using hands, knead until dough holds together. Transfer to lightly floured surface. Divide dough into two equal pieces. Shape each piece into a log. Flatten the logs to make about four inches (10 cm) wide.
3. With a fork, poke holes all over the surface of the logs. Place about four inches (10 cm) apart on a non-stick baking sheet.
4. Bake in preheated oven for 35 to 40 minutes or until
firm. Place pan on a rack and let cool for 30 minutes.
Reduce oven temperature to 300 degrees F.
5. With a sharp knife, cut each log into inch thick
slices. Place, cut side down, about an inch apart on
baking sheets. Bake for 30 minutes longer or until hard.
Transfer cookies to a rack and let cool completely.
Store in a tightly sealed container for up to 30 days.
~Submitted by Charlene Dunlap
www.caninehorizons.com
This is a recipe from Better Food for Dogs (David Bastin, Jennifer Ashton, and Dr. Grant Nixon, D.V.M). In addition to feeding it to my dogs, I also eat slices of it with sweet tea. Delicious!!!
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